Unique to my generation, I don’t really watch much TV.It’s not because I’m involved with some hipster movement or part of an elite club who discusses the detriment of television negatively impacting our youth, it’s actually quite less of a glamorous tale.Most of us will have at least one, if not a few, significant relationships during our lifetime.Our first intimate encounters may be more difficult or challenging because we're new to the experience of forming an intimate bond with another person, and may not really know what we’re doing and what to expect.Regardless, this definitely deserves an Oscar for the performance.Tags: dating advice, dating red flags, relationship advice, relationship red flags, warnings Take the recent marriage epic fail by Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries for example. And, interestingly, marriages that begin online are less likely to result in separation or divorce, and those that remained married are happier than their offline counterparts.
As obvious as these issues may appear, and as much as you may feel you understand them intellectually, it should come as no surprise that what initially seems unimportant may take on greater significance as insights occur over the course of the relationship.
Very often, when the person I'm working with has moved ahead with the relationship, one of these issues -- which might not have seemed huge at the beginning -- becomes a major problem leading to the demise of the relationship. As you read this list, don't just focus on the other person.
Below is a list of some of the red flags I've discovered. Some of these items might not be deal-breakers for you; if the issue is okay with you, then there is no problem. See if you can identify personally with any of these red flags. The person comes on strong at the beginning of the relationship, and tells you exactly what you want to hear. Narcissists can be very intense in their pursuit, and many of them have learned exactly what to say to pull you in, such as, "I've never felt as connected with anyone else as I feel with you," or "You are the most amazing person I've ever met.
People get together at their common level of woundedness -- i.e., their common level of self-abandonment. If this person cannot feel pain for your pain and joy for your joy, you will end up feeling very lonely in the relationship. Sometimes there are extenuating circumstances that prevent a parent from seeing their children, or a parent might come to the painful realization that it is not in the child's best interest to be involved with them.
While this person may blame the other person for the problems, or claim that he or she has just never met the "right" person, it always takes two to create relationship problems. But, if someone does not care about their children, then they likely have a deep problem with caring about themselves or others. The person is not open to learning from relationship conflict.